just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
