There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you inspire me to be a worse person
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
