Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
