Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
