so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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