First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
