I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
