The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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