i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i drank out of a bidet.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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