I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
