I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
