I CAN MOONWALK!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
