remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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