brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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