i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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