I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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