I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Pappa wants mamma naked
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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