If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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