OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
