Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sorry about my life...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys