Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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