I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
