I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told you penises don't tan
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.