So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
this just has baby written all over it
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm just crazy horny about you
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
