yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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