I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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