You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
