dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
