Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.