Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
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Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
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Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.