You're completely useless in the revolution.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team