youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
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She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.