So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.