Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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