A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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