Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
