So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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