what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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