he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
