He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
