All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
