No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I want to fling myself into the sun
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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