she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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