im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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