Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
