i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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