I can text with my tongue
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
