some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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