I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
