I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
