Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize