There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
