i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
