That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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