69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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