I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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