I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
