ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
