fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
