So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
