i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
