I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
