you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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