Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
