Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
