Is it normal to miss your booty call?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
